


Misused Words

by surgeoninspace



Category: Lazer Team - Fandom, Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Lazer Team, M/M, Threats, lazerhelmet, this movie hasn't even come out yet, what's wrong with me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-22
Updated: 2015-03-22
Packaged: 2018-03-19 00:24:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3589386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/surgeoninspace/pseuds/surgeoninspace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I think they gave me amnesia!"</p>
<p>“Anesthesia.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Misused Words

It wasn’t fair.

Woody isn’t really smart. It was the goddamn helmet. Before it he was an idiot. He still is an idiot! But now he’s an idiot with a helmet. 

And it was pissing Zach off.

Woody kept correcting him, on his misuse of words and on his grammar. At first it caught him off guard, but it got annoying very quickly. 

The way the fake accent would rectify his statements like he was better than Zach, hah! As if. 

The first few times, he kept his mouth shut, merely giving the sudden strange new behavior a raised eyebrow. It progressed, and suddenly Zach found himself seething in the skin tight suit the government guys had given him. Each time he heard the british accent make a comment on his speech, his fist clenched in the giant laser cannon on his arm, his teeth gritted behind a snarled mouth, and he had to refrain from swinging at the man in the helmet. 

I mean, the guy had a mullet, he shouldn’t have a right to talk to him about intelligence.

-

“I think the word you’re trying to say is-”

Zach had him against the wall in a split second. They’d just finish up a very pitiful training session with Adam, and Zach was definitely not in the mood to be told wrong. 

Woody sputtered as his back slammed against the concrete slab behind him, a sudden fear struck in him at the look of rage on Zach’s face. 

He spoke, his voice low and dangerous, “I swear if you finish that sentence I’ll make sure to finish you off before any alien could have the pleasure of meeting you.”

Woody was breathing heavily, his gaze scanning Zach’s carefully. He felt the cold hard stare and the arms against his chest holding him against the wall. Woody swallowed and found himself, very stupidly, opening his mouth. “Displeasure.”

There was a pause as Zach squinted, not loosening his grip, “Excuse me?”

“Displeasure. Any alien would have the displeasure of meeting me.” 

Silence. 

Woody realized his mistake a bit too late, and he winced behind his helmet. 

“You don’t know when to shut your goddamn mouth, do you? That helmet may make you smarter, but you’re still a fucking dumbass.”

“I-”

“I’m so sick of you correcting me all the damn time, like you think you’re smarter than me.”

“No-”

“If you weren’t wearing that fucking helmet, I’d make you shut up.” Woody could feel his heart pounding against his chest. Zach could probably feel it too. 

“Zach-”

“Because I’m starting to think the only thing that would really shut you up is my lips on yours.”

That got him quiet.

How was Woody supposed to respond to that? He thought Zach had hated him, but had he heard wrong? Did Zach just not threaten to make out with him?

A wave of anxiousness suddenly washed over Woody. A mischievous grin spread on Zach’s face at the lack of words coming from Woody’s mouth. “That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

Zach pulled off of Woody in one quick motion and headed for the door, leaving the man still up against the wall, drowning in confusion. The helmet may have made him smarter, but he was still left dumbfounded at Zach’s words. 

Oh, he couldn’t wait to get this helmet off.

**Author's Note:**

> I am so sorry. I'm actual garbage. We've only seen the trailer. What's wrong with me?


End file.
